First and foremost

Today is March 13th, 2012. There are so many changes in my life all the time. Today for example, I mailed off Mark's copies of the divorce papers. When he signs for the mail tomorrow he will officially be served. It has been a year and a month and a half since we split. About time I followed through with it. But you know what? That is my own deal. It was my decision to procrastinate. I needed to go through the motions. Mourn the loss of my marriage. I won't lie and say the whole thing was amazing, but it wasn't all bad either. We started out as any other couple. We were in love. We had fun, and then... well then he decided to stop loving me. Now let me tell you. I am worth loving. I don't want to get into all the dirty details, but let's just say he lost his mind an ruined everything that was good in his life. In fact, he is still doing it. Me on the other hand. I am happy. I don't have to deal with his wild mood swings (yeah that was a Cure reference) I have two amazing kids that keep me a lot of company. I am actually really excited that the paperwork is finally going. I just hope and pray that this can be over soon. I have this party planned out for this Saturday, I will be 30. Yeah, I know... I said above that I was already 30, but instead of freaked out I find it sort of comical. HA! I am already that old? WTH? LOL. I rented out Classic Skating in Layton for a private party. It's really funny. 13 going on 30. I have a whole group of people invited, and frankly I am a little afraid that I will have a lot of no shows. I know, I sort of have abandonment issues. It's lame, I know. I will get over it I am sure... But for now, I walk tall and try to keep a brave face. The reason I have used the black eye photo for the theme of this blog is (and it's makeup) that sometimes you get a little beat up, but you need to keep pushing forward.